Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Guest Post from the Dog Picker

I recently received an email asking if I wanted a guest post. The content and focus weren't quite right, but it got me thinking, if I wanted a guest post who would I get? Guess what my answer was? And now a word from my Cooking Assistant.

Guest post by the Dog Picker

This is my first guest post and I must say "it's about time!"

If you want to know the truth, my sister came to live with my family a few years ago. She's more comfortable behind the scenes, but as for the rest of the original brood, I'm not sure any of them left the nest, so to speak.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I get to do what I love because I don't mind playing second fiddle to an apple, as long as I get a bite or two. Waiting can be a challenge when you've got a novice photographer. My motto is be patient and you'll be rewarded.

The beginning of my new found calling was the summer of 2009. A CSA comes to mind.

There I was just sitting there, taking it in, and now I've been posing for so long, it's what I do. I see a camera and I'm ready to strike a pose for a biscuit. I put my nose next to the food and look intently. It can be challenging with baked foods, but the only command I learned in dog school was "Wait," otherwise I'd have been drummed out that first day. Sit, stay, come--who are they kidding?

I've got a dream job now, and I'm not giving it up. Who would? A soft bed, a yard and people who believe in premium dog food and rarely go on vacation.

The job? Seriously it's a piece of cake. And get this: they pay me. Oh it's not much, a crumb here and there, but what joy to be appreciated for your true talents.

I'm good too, I could do this job anywhere. Well, the beach--you know, that's really asking a bit too much. I see another dog.

This my apple portfolio.

I can't complain about this job much, but occasionally, the photographer messes up. My contract clearly states, food photos. And I ask you, is apple cider food? Come on, can you smell it without taking off the cap? I can't even bring myself to pretend to look. Give me a raise.

Then there's Halloween. Devil horns--I'm sick of it. Every year. I think the last 5 dogs that lived here wore them. Who are they kidding? Can't they think of anything new?

This is one from last year. Same horns.

And the witches hat. First of all, let me say I am not a witch. Wasn't there a politician who said that?

And the pimp hat. Really! I was told it was once a cowboy hat. I wonder do other models complain about their lame outfits?

The whole fresh apples usually aren't mine to keep, but I once found an apple, discarded in the bushes. It was big and juicy. Hard to believe what people throw away. I got to eat the entire apple.

Another time a box arrived with apples. I didn't to eat the entire apple, but the core was pretty amazing. I know a few other dogs that appreciate a good apple core.

Most of the apples at home come from the farmers' market. I once went to the Ballard Market. and could barely control myself it was so exciting--all the food scents, people and dogs. I pulled this way and that. I heard a lot of "Nos," but what a great time. I don't know why I never got to return.

Now I stay home with sister Chloe on market days. I know exactly what day it is and when the photographer returns, we sniff the bags. I the first one to smell the carrots. But lately the scent of apples fills the bags.

Last week I helped myself. I mean what did she expect, a bag on the floor is an invite. The photographer calls is "stealing," said as if I should feel remorseful. I shrug it off. What's her problem? I say, when the opportunity arises, go for it. As for the whining afterwards, you've got to have a thick skin for the naysayers in life.

I'm crazy for apples anytime. If I'm lucky, I get a bit of Massa Organics almond butter left on the plate in the morning.

And if I can lick the crumbs of Margie's Raw Apple Cake in the evening, I'm in heaven. Seriously try this cake.

I love my job!



Brooke said...

Hi, Finn! Great post! Though I must say that Rockridge Orchards is my favorite vendor of apple juice! I only have cats, but I'd love a doggie like you to eat up my apple cores. Who's a good doggie? Who's a good doggie?! You are! Smooshy, smooshy, smooshy!

Debra Daniels-Zeller said...

Woof! Found another discarded apple core this morning but sister Chloe was faster than me and wouldn't share:( Love Rockridge Orchards Asian pears.

Unknown said...

So glad to have found you. Your doggie is adorable and your writing funny! Love them both!

Debra Daniels-Zeller said...

I think he loves a fan base. but he's really more impressed with the biscuits for such easy work.

design elements said...

great! i have a labrador :-) Happy new week

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